Love Kills
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: JudePOV. What if Jude saw Cara after he attacked her before she died?


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A/N: I've wanted to write a one-shot away Cara's death for a while, but the whole Cara's-POV-as-she's-killed has been done twice... so I went for something a little different!

Love Kills:  
Jude's POV:

I found myself beside Cara's hospital bed before I even knew what I was doing. I saw her lying there but I didn't look at her properly. I knew she wasn't going to survive. I knew that and I'd overheard the nurses talking and they confirmed it. Slowly Cara's eyes opened, it took her a few moments to register me there, but when she did shock filled her face. I was probably the last person she expected to see and the last person she wanted to see.

'Steve?' she croaked her voice very quiet.

'My name's Jude, not Steve' I told her. 'Jude McGregor'

She didn't look shocked, why didn't she looked shocked? I just told her I was the most wanted L.M member in the country and she didn't bat an eyelid.

'Why are you telling me tihs?' she asked softly, obviously unable to speak too loud. For the first time I looked at her properly, she looked as weak as she sounded. Only her face and arms were visable, the rest of her dark skin was covered bythe blanket. Her skin was bruised and swollen and cut.

'I don't ruddy know' I replied, and I didn't. I know she was dying, I knew if I was seen I'd be hung and yet I was here telling her the truth about who I was. Here I was acting like she was something. She wasn't. She was jude another dagger, better off deaad. I knew I had better tell _her _that. 'I wanted you to know, because you die, that it was my that killed you' I kepy my voice quiet so the nurses didn't hear me. 'Not some dagger lover called Steve, but Jude McGregor'

'Do you want me to be scared of you?' asked Cara 'because I'm not. You've already hurt me, Jude, I'm not stupid, everything hurts, even just breathing hurts. I'll welcome death now, because it'll stop everything hurting. Because it'll stop me being here. And because maybe when I die I'll stop loving the person who put me here'

I didntanswer, I didn't know what to say. I was a mess. I had killed before and it was never a problem. Why did it matter now. It didn't. It couldn't. She was just a Cross. Just a Crosses. Why did she have to tell me she loved me? How stupid was she.

'I'd rather die and remember Steven, than live and know you are Jude' continued Cara. 'I know you're Jude, I know how the world knows you: a cold-hearted killed with soemthing against everyone born with dark skin. But that wasn't Steve. Steve was gentle and kind, he was soft and sweet. And Steve Winner was loving'

Why was I still listening to her? Why didn't I just walk out and save my skin? Why didn't I just leave her to die?

'And you can say what you want _Jude' _despite her weakness she managed to put venom into my name. 'go on killing Crosses, feed you hate, it won't bring back your Dad, and it won't bring back your brother'

'Shut up' I said quietly, but with enough insistence to stop her talking. 'Stop acting like you have a clue or give a damn. You haven't and you don't. You're a Cross, nothing but a dagger bitch'

'Jude may say that but I don't think Steve believes a word of it. I think and I will go to my grave believing Steve loved me but Jude McGregor was too scared to--'

'I'm not scared of anything' I hissed. 'You'tr deluded'

'Maybe I am, but I don't think so' said Cara. 'You are scared Jude. Scared of going against everything you've always believed in. Scared of loving what you hate. Scared of difference, scared of feelings. All I hope is that one day yo--'

I cut her off by kissing her. I didn't even think about it, it was as though I wasn't in control of myself. This wasn't me. I felt tron, between who I was and who I'd been with Cara. I loved her and I hated her. I wanted to kill her and I wanted to save her. I was Jude and I was Steve. I whispered in her ear 'Steve always loved you' before pulling away and not looking at her.

'Let Steve win' she said pleadingly and the machines around her stopped beeping and made a continual noise.

I turned back to Cara and she was dead.

I had to get out of there, it was the only thing on my mind. I slid out of herroom and walked passed the desk quickly with my head low to avoid being seen.

Cara was dead, I had killed her. Another Cross down. It's a good thing. It's a bad thing. I learnt my lesson, love kills.


End file.
